So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
