eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
