I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
