Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
