Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
