Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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