gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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