just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
