Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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