How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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