Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she looked like the before picture.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
