He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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