ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
