I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
