he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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