I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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