officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
