Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
