You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
