remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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