now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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