Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
