Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
