did you get engaged???
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
