It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
