so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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