Dual....:-)
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He shit in the fireplace
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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