I accidentally burped into my bong.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
