Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
