Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
