I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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