Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
