They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize