I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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