And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
