quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
