Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
