ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize