you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she told me i tasted like america
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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