He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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