Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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