Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
