he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
