Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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