i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
