Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
