Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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