i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
