I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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