I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
