my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
