I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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