we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize