I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
