Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
