dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
