Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
