tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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