Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?

(443): View more from Maryland

We using my standards or yours?

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(540): View more from Virginia

please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.

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(416): View more from Ontario

you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

and then ....

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.

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(516): View more from New York

Man, jail baloney is awful.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.

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