i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
