I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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